I like to think that there are a lot of people in big cities that think and feel somewhat like I do; who find their lives in a similar place. People who've made friends and had them drift away. People who can't get past the acquaintance level with the people around them. People who start to open up to potential friendships, but are then hurt.

We keep busy with our careers - our willingness to work hours and long weekends have made us successful. But while we are proud of these accomplishments (as we should be), they're really little more than the simple result of the single-mindedness with which we can work. Our lives don't have many distractions.

We come home to empty, beautiful homes and cherish most of the free time we have. We read well-reviewed novels, listen to great music, and let ourselves recuperate from the stresses of the day. But after a few days of slowness at work, or between finishing one book and starting the next, perhaps we feel a bit restless occasionally. For a period, we take walks downtown and start noticing the groups of people, laughing and happy. Noticing the couples in love, or in excitement. And then something inside us feels unmistakeably (though perhaps quietly) empty.

For some, this leads to a period of sadness. Others take pride in self-sufficiency. And more go out of their way to get that next book a bit sooner than initially planned.

On rare occasions we reach out to others, but find them lacking somehow - intelligence, ambition, trustworthiness. It's disappointing for a little while, but then there are other things to occupy our attention once more.

Each day as we walk through the city, we wonder if there are others like us, who think and feel these same things on occasion: If the man on his cell phone on a business call wishes he had someone to bring to company parties. If the woman in the shoe store occasionally longs for a shopping companion. If there are other people in the bustling, busy city who are, on some quietly acknowledged level, longing for companionship and love.

I hope so. It eases the bitterness, the hurt that comes to me sometimes. It makes it easier to go on in those times between the distractions. But I worry sometimes -- is it at these points that our lives are really shining through? Is it the unhappiness that's genuine and everything else merely its mask?