I guess it all boils down to this: there's not really a way to say to someone—

I don't want to be your friend, because chances are good I'd begrudgingly fall in love with you. At the same time, I crave your friendship, because it provides me with much-needed interpersonal mental stimulation, the lack of which sometimes makes me feel like I'm withering.

Please be kind to me, because you can probably wound me on levels most people don't even have. I think I may already be fonder of you than is useful to either of us; even in our first conversation, I sensed you as some kind of rare kindred spirit.

God...please stop talking to me, so we can avoid this train wreck.