I take my social cues, more often than not, from what other people around me are doing. This doesn't mean I always imitate them, but it does mean that I'll have a better sense for how my own behavior will be perceived. I feel more comfortable responding to stimulus than to making an initial action.

As such, when there seems to be a common behavioral theme among those I interact with, or with whom I share a common affiliation, I find myself assessing and analyzing that theme's possible desirability and relevance to my own life. It's a natural response, I think. If it turns out that something's popular because it's a good thing, I want in on it. And if it's something popular that I can't relate to, and its popularity makes me feel alienated and alone, I've got to revel in that loneliness and isolation. As anyone who's read anything else I've written knows, I'm all about reveling in loneliness and isolation.

And what's the hot topic of my age group these days? Marriage, apparently. Well, perhaps 'hot topic' is an exaggeration. Really, I'm thinking about marriage only because my first serious boyfriend married his fiancee a couple weeks ago. Well, that and because one of my coworker 'friends' is always mentioning how his family wants to see him settled. Also, there was also a developer I thought was cute and passed a note to in a meeting, and when I 'researched' him I found out that he was getting married that very weekend!

So I'm thinking more about marriage these days. In a mindset akin to horror, actually, because:

1. were I to find marriage desirable, I would have to address having no real current prospects for marriage in the near future
2. the prospects I do have, if utilized (and they grow more tempting with time (and increased desperation)), would be a crutch to help me avoid self development
3. as I age and become more successful, the number of comparable men will decrease exponentially
4. as I age, the number of bachelors in my age group will decrease

Thus, I see any marriage involving a guy I know as merely decreasing the pool of men available to me by 1. (Yes, I know they were unavailable to me before they actually got married. But there's something about the official decree of love and faithfulness that really draws lines through their names in thick black ink. Especially since I am really not interested in someone who made that decree but then broke it, i.e. divorcés.)

At the moment, I don't even want a boyfriend, but marriage is all around. And while I don't yearn for marriage, I do feel an increased sense of urgency about it and relationships in general — and the need to make some decisions about what I want and what I'm willing to give. But at the same time, I feel like all those actions would just be futile since I'm probably either hopeless already, or just going to fall into something when I'm not paying attention.

I don't own any cats yet...but they're becoming more appealing.